I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
