3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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