I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
