so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
