just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
