She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just invented taco cereal.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
