Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You ruined the universe
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
