im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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