I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
