Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
