The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
