I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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