East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
