I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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