u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize