let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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