It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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