Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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