it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
All the doctor said was why
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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