remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
