So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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