Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
