hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
