they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
