How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
