so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
