Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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