oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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