dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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