Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Please, let me fuck your mom
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
