check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
its liver damage thursday
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
