when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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