Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize