How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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