it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
