Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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