Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
