i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Randomize
