He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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