he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
