i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
