I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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