Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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