Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
