Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
