A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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