I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
