Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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