You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
