Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
