Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
