Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
