I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
