I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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