this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
