You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
