The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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