I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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