This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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