You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
