The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
