piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The best revenge is premature balding
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize