I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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