3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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