i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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