he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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