if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
