the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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