curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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