Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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