you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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