She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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