I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
