i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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