I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I think people are normalizing furries
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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