drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
