just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
