Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize