Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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