come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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