I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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