I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
